Road to Ruin

Okay so I've Been lazy, and for that i apologise, but sometimes writing becomes more of a chore than a hobby. I love writing, and posing all these arguments that form in my head into actual literary proof, but sometimes it can be too difficult. I've gotten into the habit recently, of thinking too much ahead. So, i start to write a post, where do I take it? What do i write about? In all honesty i have nothing. I think about doing something music or film based, and then I take the cowards way out. Some people call it laziness, some call it procrastination, maybe its a bit of both, bu if I'm being honest, for me its fear.
Its in all of us, some more prominent than others, some play up to it and some dont. Some of us hardly notice that it's even there. But for me, the fear of writing a bad post or whatever this is, accomplishing something I'm not proud of is a big fear for me. I like to live in ignorance, most of us do. We like to live our lives without the knowledge of the things that could potentially hurt us. We say we always want the truth, and we'd prefer to know but it's not always the case. I recently had a situation which if I had avoided; would have saved me a lot of trouble and embarrassment. If only I had kept it to myself, if only I had stayed that much longer in denial and tried to forget about it, but this one time I didn't, and look where it got me. Lying in bed and replaying my mistakes in my head. Its funny to think that you are told to always tell the truth, yet it can get you in some awful situations. The truth and trust are very fragile issues. Both can be misconstrued and manipulated into something fake, and it brings the debate whether they actually exist in the first place. Truth is a tricky concept. There is never one straight forward answer, even in exams its based on opinion or wording or workings out, nothing is ever set in stone, which makes you wonder if there is more than one truth to every situation, then does 'The' truth exist at all? Trust is also valuable yet losable. it can be lost in a second, one of the things about human nature is we're unpredictable. I find myself doing things that I regret and frown upon in hindsight, yet in the moment i cant seem to stop it. And if other people can do this, whats to stop them sabotaging your own truths.
See, its a complicated issue that seems to go on and on in a cycle which is giving me a headache, and probably making this boring to read so i shall begin to persist, But;
If both trust and the truth are really so breakable then what gives us a lot of stability? This is what gives me fear. Whatever I write, i have to have an element of trust in, I have to know that I am happy with what I want to write, and whether what I'm writing is a true interpretation of my thoughts. I could fabricate a long story about my opinion on a certain song simply for the space to be filled, but then what? What happens next?
Thank you for reading this long winded and poorly thought out essay on something not many people care about,
good day